Changes and additions for 2010 are shown in blue italic

League Membership

The Get a Life Football League will be called the GLFL throughout these Rules and Regulations. 

There are three Get a Life Football Leagues:  Bakersfield, Big Bear, and Big Bear II.  The rules for all three are the same, unless indicated otherwise.

Each league will consist of twelve teams.  Each team will have a name not currently being used by any professional sports team, or any Get a Life Baseball League team.  Really stupid team names will not be allowed.

The leagues will be divided into two divisions. Each division will contain six teams. Divisions will be named by the returning Division Champions, after honorable football men.

Commissioner

All functions of the league will be handled by the Commissioner in conjunction with CBS Sports, unless delegated to another individual.  A League Administration Fee equal to the cost of the web service plus $50 will be subtracted from the league's prize pool.

The Commissioner will attempt to resolve any disputes that may arise. If the dispute cannot be resolved to the satisfaction of all parties involved, the matter will be put to a vote of all owners. The result of this vote will be binding.

The office of Commissioner is not voted upon, but is occupied by an unimpeachable tyrant. Term of office is forever, or until the Commissioner loses interest.  Prior to each season, the Commissioner will name a Deputy Commissioner.  The Deputy Commissioner will assume the duties of the Commissioner only if necessary.

The wisdom of the Commissioner will never be in question.

Ownership

Any individual(s) approved by the Commissioner may own a team.  Dumbshits will not be allowed to own teams.

Ownership in more than one league is legal, but ownership of more than one team in a league is not permitted.

There is no limit to the number of owners that a team may have.  Unless the Commissioner is informed otherwise in advance, it will be assumed that any owners listed for a team are authorized to perform any functions for that team.

A team may be sold any time during a season. The new owner must be approved by the Commissioner, and will be held responsible for any outstanding debt associated with that team. New owners will be expected to abide by all league rules.

Season

The season will be concurrent with the NFL regular season. 

Weeks 1-12 will make up the regular season. Each team will play every other team once, and one randomly selected team from their division twice.  Final standings in the regular season will determine play-off positions.

The Playoffs will be held on Weeks 13-15, the Championship game will be held on Week 16.

Fees

The schedule of fees for the GLFL is as follows:

Loss fees are charged for all regular season losses, and playoff losses regardless of which bracket, and how much some owners whine about it.  

Each team MUST put on account a minimum of $200 by Draft Day.  This should cover entry fees and other fees accrued throughout the season.  If a team's account reaches zero, additional funds must be deposited immediately.

All payments should be in the form of a personal check, or by PayPal, as this will provide a record of the transaction. All checks for league fees are made out to the Commissioner.

If an owner disappears during the season, his team may be considered an "abandoned team." The Commissioner will attempt to find a new owner for the abandoned team, or may appoint an owner from the one of the other leagues to act as owner for purposes of roster maintenance.  Any money won by abandoned teams will be split equally among all remaining teams in that league.

Any owner(s) that abandon a team will be banned from all future GLFL season, as it will be obvious that they are unreliable idiots.

Prize pool

Prizes based on regular season performance (Weeks 1-12):

Prizes based on single game performance (over all 16 games):

Prizes based on finish in the Playoffs:

All prizes based on a percentage are calculated after the guaranteed amounts for Division Champions, special cash awards, Coaches Challenge, Playoff Pool, and Pro Bowl Pool are subtracted from the Prize Pool.

The Draft

The schedule and locations for the 2010 GLFL Drafts:

Teams may take up to three players from their off season roster into the draft (keepers). For each player retained, a draft pick will be forfeited. The pick to be forfeited will be two rounds lower than the pick that was used to take the player the previous season. If two retained players were taken in the same round the previous season, then the next lowest pick will be forfeited. Example: Two retained players were taken in the 10th round of the draft the previous season. The 8th and 7th round picks will be forfeited.

Big Bear Leagues: Since teams move up and down between the two leagues, there will be some instances where two teams have the same retained player. In those cases keepers will be handled as follows:

Teams moving UP from Big Bear 2 to Big Bear 1:

1)  If the team moving up has only one duplicate keeper with an existing BB1 team, the team moving up will lose that keeper.
2)  If the team moving up has more than one duplicate keeper with an existing BB1 team, the existing team will have first choice of the duplicate keepers.  The team moving up from BB2 will have second choice of duplicate keepers.  The two teams will select alternately until all duplicate keepers have been awarded.

Teams moving DOWN from Big Bear 1 to Big Bear 2:

1)  If the team moving down has only one duplicate keeper with an existing BB1 team, the team with the lower point total from the previous season will lose that keeper.
2)  If the team moving down has more than one duplicate keeper with an existing BB2 team, the team with the higher point total will have first choice of the duplicate keepers.  The team with the lower point total will have second choice of duplicate keepers.  The two teams will select alternately until all duplicate keepers have been awarded.

Regardless of how keepers get resolved, the keeper's round number (contract) will be whatever it was in that league the previous season.  So, if a team moves up from BB2 to BB1, and gets awarded say Antonio Gates, his contract will be based on wherever Gates was drafted in BB1.  If the keeper was not drafted in that league, he will retain whatever contract number he had previously.

Retained players may only be released if that player was placed on the IR or PUP after the deadline for keepers, but before Draft Day. The player must be released before the beginning of the draft.

Players shown with a contract status of other than "0" may be retained the following season, players with a contract status of "0" may not be retained.  A player may not be retained two consecutive seasons.

On Draft Day team owners will select players, in turn, until all teams have a full roster. Players at any position may be drafted at any time, and the team defense may be drafted at any time. Each team must have a legal starting line-up at the end of the draft.

The person conducting the draft will announce the name of the team that is up. That team will have one minute to name the player that they have chosen. At the end of the one minute period the person conducting the draft will ask for the pick, which must be made immediately. If a team does not have a pick ready, it may pass. After the next team has selected, the team that has passed will be given one more opportunity to make an immediate pick. If there is still no pick, the pick will be forfeited. Missed picks will be made up, in order, at the conclusion of the draft. There will be scheduled breaks after rounds 2, 6, and 10.

Due to trades, some teams may finish drafting before the 14th round.  Rounds will be added at the end of the draft as necessary to allow all teams to complete their 14 man roster.

NOAH RULE: When announcing the pick, the player's name, NFL team, and position will be announced with a loud, clear voice to avoid having to incessantly repeat the information.

RUSS RULE: If a team drafts a retired, injured, cut, or dead player, they are stuck with that player and may not retract the pick after learning the awful truth about their bonehead choice. They will immediately receive "THE BONE," are fined $1, and should expect to catch some crap.

DREW RULE: The intentional mentioning of any undrafted player will result in a $1 fine per violation. Teams may not ask if a player has already been taken.

PAUL RULE: No cell phone use during the draft at the draft table or within such a distance that it disrupts the draft. If an owner must confer with a co-owner somewhere else, or if they need to take care of some business, they must do so during breaks or leave the draft area. Illegal cell phone use will result in a $5 fine per violation.

Team Roster

Each team will maintain a legal roster at all times. A legal roster consists of:

The team may also have five reserves, which may be any position player, or a defense. There is no limit to the number of players of a particular position, so long as the team has a legal roster.

Lineups must be submitted at the CBS Sports web site.  Each lineup spot may be set up until five minutes before each player's game time.

If circumstances prevent an owner from submitting lineups and/or changes at CBS Sports, they may be submitted by e-mail to savagelizard@gmail.com or in writing directly to the Commissioner.

The starting lineup is made up of:

A team will be assessed a $5 Bonehead Fine for each player in their starting lineup who is on a bye.  This fine is only assessed if the team has another player that they could have started in place of the bye player.  There is a $5 fine for EACH bye player.

There will be absolutely, positively, unequivocally, no late lineups accepted. Save your sob story, the Commissioner will be completely uninterested.

MICHELLE RULE: NEVER call the Commissioner’s wife to submit a lineup, she couldn't give a shit.

Scoring System

Points are scored as follows:

Quarterbacks are awarded one bonus point for reaching 250 combined yards (passing + rushing +receiving), and an additional point for every additional 50 yards.

Running Backs, Wide Receivers, Tight Ends, and Flex players are individually awarded one bonus point for each 50 combined yards (passing + rushing +receiving) they amass.

Performance bonus points for Defense/Special Teams are awarded as follows:

Additionally, the Team Defense/Special Teams will receive three bonus points for a shut out.  Offense points allowed, such as an interception or fumbled returned for a TD,  do not affect this bonus.  Team Defense/Special Teams will not receive bonus points for return yardage. 

The official source of stats for purposes of scorekeeping, will be CBS Sports.  If disputes occur in scoring, the Commissioner must be notified as soon as possible.  The Commissioner will investigate the discrepancy and adjust the score if necessary.

All points scored by players in the starting lineup and their performance points will be combined to reach a team score. The team whose score is higher will be declared the winner of that game.

Any player may score in any fashion.

Any points scored in a defensive manner will be considered defensive points. Returned interceptions, returned fumble recoveries, returned blocked kicks or punts, and safeties are examples of defensive scores. Returned kickoffs and punts are counted as Special Teams scores, oddball trick plays are not counted as Special Teams scores.

Points scored on a kickoff or punt return will be awarded to the player that scored AND the Team Defense/Special Teams.  If one GLFL team has both the kick returner and the D/ST, they will receive six points for each roster spot.

MEACHAM RULE: Any points scored by an offensive player who is acting as a defensive player after an offensive turnover, will not count as Team Defense/Special Teams points.

Any disputes regarding scoring must be resolved before the beginning of the next week's games. Scores will not be corrected after that point.

If a game is tied, the tie is broken using the following tiebreakers until one of the two teams enjoys an advantage.

The winner of the tiebreaker will have one point added to their final score.

The losing team of each game will pay the Losing Team Fee, for their league, into the Prize Pool.

Standings and Playoffs

All 12 regular season games will count toward the overall standings.

The two Division Champions will advance to the playoffs.

The two remaining teams with the best records, regardless of division, will advance to the playoffs as wildcards. After those teams have been determined, the remaining two teams with the highest points scored, regardless of division will advance to the playoffs as wildcards.

In cases where teams are tied in record, the following tie-breaking procedures will be used:

The Playoffs will be held on Weeks 13-15, and will be round robin format.  The playoff teams will be seeded 1-6 based on points scored.  Each of the top three seeds will play each of the bottom three seeds using this schedule:

The two teams with the best records after the Playoffs will advance to the Championship Game.  In cases where teams are tied after the round robin, the following tie-breaking procedures will be used:

The #3 and #4 teams after the Playoffs will play each other for 3rd and 4th, and the #5 and #6 teams will play for 5th & 6th.

The teams that do not make the playoffs will play for the not so coveted title of Toad of the League.  Teams will be seeded 1-6 based on points scored and a round robin will be played in the same manner as the Conference Playoffs.

Bidding on Free Agents

Any player not on the roster of another team in the league, will be considered a free agent, and may be bid upon at any time until the free agent deadline (EXCEPTION: A player released by any team may not be bid upon until after midnight on Monday of the following week).

Each team is allotted a $100 Free Agent Acquisition Budget (FAAB).  Teams need not spend any money on free agents, but they may not exceed their FAAB.  The FAAB is for the entire season, and if a team depletes their FAAB, they may not bid on any free agents.

Teams may bid on a free agent at any time.  The minimum bid is $1, and the maximum is whatever amount remains in a team's FAAB.  Bidding is in increments of $1.  At 8:59 p.m. PST on Wednesday of each week, CBS Sports will sort out all free agent bids and award the free agents to the winning bidders.

Any bids placed after the deadline on Wednesday will be processed the following week.

For each player won, a player must be released.  A team may never have more than 14 players on their roster (IR players are not counted against total). 

No free agents may be bid upon after the transaction deadline of Week 13.

A player placed on suspension, or facing a suspension, by the NFL or by that player's NFL team, may not be released.

Trades

Players may be traded freely between teams. The trade becomes official when all teams involved in the trade have reported the details of the trade to the GLFL office.  Trades can be made through CBS Sports, or reported to the Commissioner.

A trade may be withdrawn, so long as all teams involved in the trade agree, and have notified the Commissioner before the next deadline for transactions.

All teams involved in the trade must have legal rosters when the trade is completed.

During the off season, and during the draft, draft picks may be traded as well as players. Players may be traded for other players and/or picks. Picks may be traded for other picks and/or players. Teams may not trade any draft picks that are in a round that they are retaining a player (exception: teams that trade positions for the entire draft).

Future draft picks may NOT be traded during the season.

Trades may not involve cash, property, first born children, or any other considerations.

During the season, no trades may be made after the transaction deadline of Week 9.

Injured Reserve

Only players who meet the following conditions may be placed on IR:

Players placed on the IR in the NFL are out for the season, but players on the PUP may return.  Any player that is activated from the PUP by their NFL team, must be activated by his GLFL team, or released within seven days.

Injured players may not be signed and placed on the IR.

Renting a Defense/Special Teams

If a team is missing their defense/special teams due to a bye, they may rent a replacement for the week.  This allows the team to cover the position without releasing their defense/special teams that is on a bye.

The rented D/ST is acquired through FAAB bidding, and the money spent is subtracted from the FAAB.  The D/ST on bye is placed on reserve.  After games are completed that week, rented DSTs must be released.  Teams can keep the rented DST by releasing another player from their roster to make room.

High Points Pool

Each week of the season, and during the playoffs, there will be a High Points Pool.  All teams are automatically entered.  The highest scoring team each week will win $20.   If there is a tie, the pool is split between the tied teams.

Money won is added to a team's account.

High Points Pools for each league are separate.

Coaches Challenge

On Week 17 the Coaches Challenge will be held.  All teams are automatically entered.

Each team will submit a lineup as normal.  However, for the Coaches Challenge, the lineup can be made up of ANY players in the league, they do not have to be on your roster.  This means that several owners may use the same players, this is OK.  The highest scoring lineup wins.  This pool uses points and yardage bonuses.

There will be a separate Coaches Challenge for each league, payoffs are:

Postseason Pool

The GLFL Postseason Pool will be held during the NFL postseason.  All teams are automatically entered.

For the pool, no starting line-ups are named. A team's entire roster is used throughout the playoffs and Pro Bowl. All players add points to their GLFL team's total each time they score. The team with the highest total at the end of the postseason wins the pool.  This pool uses points and yardage bonuses.

There will be a separate Postseason Pool for each league, payoffs are:

Wagers Between Teams

Wagers between teams are acceptable, but are outside of the GLFL. No money involved in wagers will be added to or subtracted from team accounts.

Final Words of Wisdom From the Commissioner

There are no provisions for adding or changing rules based on a vote of the owners. That is because this is a dictatorship. I make the rules, and when I have an idea I may ask some or all owners what they think, but ultimately, the decisions are mine. If this pisses you off, join a different league or start your own.

Collusion between two or more teams will not be tolerated!  While it is difficult to prove that two owners acted in concert to affect the outcome of a game or season, any owners that exhibit behavior that strongly points to such conduct will be kicked out of the league and not invited back for future Get a Life Football League seasons. The object is to compete and have a good time, and the conduct described above would certainly be contrary to that aim.

Besides, it would mean that you are an asshole, and we don't want assholes in our league, so don't even think about doing it!!!